rusty_armour (rusty_armour) wrote,

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The Action Figures Have Landed!

I know that at least a couple of people have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of my NEW Primeval action figures. Well, I'm very happy to announce that they made it across the pond (thanks to boobamiaow) and were delivered safely to my eager hands when my mom came on Friday night for our annual EX Weekend.

I have to admit that things got off to a bit of a rocky start. Lester had barely stepped foot on the Enterprise when he was demanding to leave. When Jenny asked him what the matter was, Lester hissed, "I don't want any part of this bizarre Canadian custom."

Jenny rolled her eyes. "James, it's a conga line."

Lester's eyes narrowed. "I don't do conga lines."

Deciding that Lester was probably still suffering from jet lag, Giant Hand found a tranquil spot where the two Brits could rest (e.g. the kitchen table).

Lester leaned back in his deck chair contentedly. "Ah, that's better. This is much more civilized."

"Boring, you mean," Jenny said.

"I like boring. Boring is safe. Boring is quiet. Boring is..." Lester trailed off. He thought he'd heard the sound of barking in the distance. He rose quickly from his deck chair.

Jenny raised an eyebrow. "James? What is it? There aren't any anomalies in this flat, are there?"

Lester's head was now tilted and he was listening closely. Then his face broke into an actual grin as Giant Hand appeared again, dropping off another passenger. An instant later, Lester found himself being knocked to the ground by a very happy German shepherd.

"Well, hello," Lester said. "I haven't seen you for a while."

Lester!Dog licked Lester's face enthusiastically, while Jenny stood staring at the two in shocked silence.

Managing to push Lester!Dog off his chest, Lester began to scratch behind the German shepherd's ears. "Did you miss your daddy? Your daddy missed you."

Jenny opened her mouth to ask Lester if he'd received a sharp blow to the head on their journey, but the words halted in her throat as Lester hugged the German shepherd and cooed at him some more. Jenny gave them a moment before grabbing Lester by the elbow and hauling him to his feet. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with James Lester?"

Lester looked sheepish for once. "A lot has happened since you resigned, Jenny."

"Yes, I can see that," Jenny said. "For one thing, you have a dog."

Lester crossed his arms. "Actually, he belongs to my kids more than he belongs to me, don't you, Lester?"

Jenny's jaw dropped. "You named the dog Lester?"

Lester squirmed uncomfortably. "Well, no. I didn't name him. Not exactly." He gazed down at Lester!Dog helplessly. "It's a long story - almost 30,000 words, in fact."

"I see. Yes, that is a rather long story. I'll have to look up the link some time when I'm feeling a lot less sober." Jenny knelt down to pet Lester!Dog. "So, your name is 'Lester' too, is it? Well, it's a good thing I call the other Lester by his first name. That will make things a lot less confusing." She glanced back at human Lester. "You didn't tell me the tablecloth was more comfortable than the deck chairs. We should hang out down here instead.

"Indeed," Lester said.

Jenny sighed as she and Lester lay side by side on the tablecloth. It was nice to be able to relax. Although her new job hadn't involved dinosaurs, guns, explosions, or bitchy psychotic paleontologists, it still had its share of stress and frustration. She exchanged a look with Lester and knew he was thinking much the same thing.

"So, is what I've heard about you and Danny Quinn true or is that also a rather long story?" Jenny asked.

"No, that's a rather short story, actually," Lester said, "and it's one I'm sure you're familiar with or you wouldn't be asking."

Jenny pouted. "I can't get all my gossip from Connor, especially when it concerns you. Why can't you just tell me for once and save us both some-?" Jenny froze as she saw Giant Hand swooping towards them again. She and Lester both sat up, staring in horror at what had been deposited on the table.

"Why are you not in the conga line with the other humans?" the Dalek demanded.

Lester raised his chin. "Because being in a conga line is a thoroughly silly and absurd waste of my extremely valuable time. It is also highly degrading and demoralizing, not to mention humiliating. I conga for no man...or salt and pepper shaker."

The Dalek brandished his plunger menacingly. "You will join the conga line or be exterminated."

"Then exterminate me, you cheap hunk of plastic, because there's nothing in this entire universe that could convince me to conga," Lester said.

"What if I played special Dalek music?" the Dalek asked.

Lester shook his head. "No. Not even then."

"Pitiful human," the Dalek said. "Extermination is too good for you." The Dalek raised his weapon, only pausing when Jenny cried out to him.

"NO!" Jenny shouted. "STOP!" She gazed at the Dalek pleadingly. "There must be some other dance that would be acceptable. A brilliant Dalek such as yourself must specialize in more than just conga lines."

The Dalek considered Jenny's proposition for 5.7 seconds before giving its answer. "I might permit a tango. There is special Dalek music for that."

"Wonderful!" Jenny said.

"You must be joking!" Lester growled.

Jenny tugged on Lester's sleeve, pulling him to one side. "Look, you may not have a problem with being exterminated, but I do."

Lester snorted. "He was threatening me, not you. If you're willing to debase yourself in a conga line then I certainly don't plan to stop you."

"But that's just it, James: I'm not," Jenny said. "If we don't tango then the Dalek is likely to exterminate me next - then, possibly, Lester. That's cruelty to animals, James."

Lester frowned. "Oh." He closed his eyes for an instant before shooting a look at the Dalek. "Very well. We shall tango, but only on the condition that you spare our lives."

The Dalek began tuning his guitar. "Agreed."

As cruel as it sounds, I will now offer you some more pictures from this weekend. I should probably warn more sensitive viewers that there is a highly disturbing image of yours truly in her new Doctor Zhivago winter hat, which was a steal at $10. And, no, that isn't real fur but faux fur.

Tags: action figures, toronto
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