rusty_armour (rusty_armour) wrote,

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Good Things Come in Small Packages

Last Sunday, my sister gave me a little puppy figurine to add to my action figure collection, so I thought it was high time that I introduced this newest member to my warped menagerie.

I decided to name the puppy "Kiki" as that's my sister's nickname. [1]

Lester!Dog immediately took it upon himself to protect little Kiki from
the more dangerous elements in rusty_armour's apartment.

As Lester!Dog knew only too well, your average cat could eat a puppy for breakfast. [2]

Apparently, Sheppard also had trust issues when it came to Earhart as he swooped in to save Kiki
before Earhart could get near her...Oh, who am I kidding? Sheppard has trust issues about everything.

Unfortunately, it isn't long before McKay tracks down the new puppy as well.

"Oooooh! Puppy! So cute! Let me have her!"

Sheppard shook his head wildly and turned away from McKay. "Back off, Rodney. She's mine."

McKay stared at Sheppard through his big blue eyes (that are even bigger and bluer when he's scared or upset) and pouted. "When I was a kid, I had a dog that ran away. Did I ever mention that?"

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "Yes, about five zillion times, Rodney," he said. "That was when you decided to become a cat person, remember? And, hey, look. Here's your cat. I had to rescue Kiki from him."

McKay picked up Earhart and began to walk away. "Come on, baby. We don't need some stupid dog. Cats are, like, ten times better, anyway."

"Cat people," Sheppard grumbled. "They're all nuts."

"I'm not a cat person." Archer was peeking around one of the legs of rusty_armour's futon with a look of deep longing in his eyes. "Do you know how long it's been since I last saw Porthos? You have no idea how much I've missed him." Archer's bottom lip was trembling and his eyes welled up with tears.

Terrified that Archer would actually start crying, Sheppard thrust Kiki into his arms. "Okay, you can hold her for a few minutes."

"Okay, thanks," Archer said. Then he took off with Kiki under his arm.

"Hey!" Sheppard shouted. "Come back here, you Starfleet bastard!"

Despite all those years of water polo, Archer was no match for Sheppard in a rage. He had run less than a metre across the floor when Sheppard tackled him. However, although Archer was already down and in a fight, he had every intention of taking Sheppard with him as he sank even further into hell.

Puppy forgotten, both Sheppard and Archer tried to beat the crap out of each other. It was only when they heard a disapproving throat being cleared that they froze.

"You should both be thoroughly ashamed of yourselves," Lester said. "Is this any way to set an example for our new friend?" He shook his head in disgust. "Neither one of you should be allowed within ten centimetres of this dog."

Both Sheppard and Archer watched in horror as Lester lifted the puppy off the ground. "But --"

Lester ignored the protests and walked off with the puppy in his arms. "Come along, Kiki. Due to rusty_armour's propensity for crack [3], I'm afraid I'm all too familiar with how difficult it is to be a dog. We'll find somewhere safer and more civilized for you."

[1] I can't remember how old we were, but my sister earned the "Kiki" monniker when she decided to prance around the living room wearing her rather skimpy nightie and her new winter boots. I don't know where it came from, but I found myself singing the following: "Kiki, the Eskimo girl! Kiki, the little Eskimo girl!" Yes, I realize that the word "Eskimo" is politically incorrect. However, I can't remember if this was before the word "Inuit" came into use or if I just knew that it would be even less PC to call a Caucasian girl prancing around the living room in a nightie and winter boots an "Inuit".

[2] Actually, the same thing can happen with adult dogs. I know two cats [See icon above] who chased the neighbour's sheltie out of their backyard.

[3] That would be "crack" as in the fanfic genre [See entry at fannish glossary] not the drug -- even if most of what I write does seem to be the result of an illegal substance.

While I'm on the subject of good things that come in small (but highly portable) packages, I'd like to thank jackycomelately again for letting me have her second generation iPod touch after upgrading. I now have some new fic on it and even some free classics waiting to be uploaded through Kobo. Of course, when I brought my new toy with me for Thanksgiving weekend, my family had a blast playing with it. Well, my dad actually stopped at one point because he was afraid he would become addicted and have to buy one of his own. *g*

Tags: action figures, primeval, sga
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